If you ever find yourself in this state – what I call Code Red – act swiftly, act quickly. Being in a state of boredom,  a boredom cocoon, speaks volumes about you and what might have happened to culminate this feeling. You:

1. are not an opportunist;
2. are not into self help;
3. do not thrive on your own company;
4. should be banned from using the word carpe diam; and
5. you’re certainly not a blogger.

But I’m here to help you, not judge you. So, here are some reverse tips that you must immediately implement if you find yourself indicating down Bored Street:

• everyone has a bucket list – tick something off. If you don’t, make one!
• everyone has to do lists – stop procrastinating and tick things off. If you don’t, make one!
• everyone wants to dine for dinner solo sometime, tonight is the night! (Note: This only counts if it is a restaurant you actually want to go to and not a place down the road or in a mall serving furry or foreign cuisine to other patrons who are only family members to the owners
• no ones mind is too broad – broaden your mind in some beneficial way
• no one can never have too much knowledge – teach yourself about something topical
• go to a yoga studio or a golf lesson or a cooking class or a dive school or a hotline/helpline call center or some foreign activity that you’ve always wished to claim as your pastime
• take up a language
• turn up some loud music, learn a new recipe and host a dinner party for friends
• then surprise them with your newly acquired shuffle-dance skills
• or a surprise magician
• make a photo frame wall, preferably filled with photos of times when you weren’t bored
• read the Mindfood magazine to get your monthly hit of current affairs, fashion, skincare and arts all in one
• go to an art exhibition, or the theatre, or a movie – check out the gift store and buy some memorabilia to always remember the time you dodged boredom
• YouTube how to eat with chopsticks if you can’t

• do not get an impulsive tattoo or piercing – irreversible changes to your body should never emanate from boredom. If you feel change is in order then get a trim or colour your eyebrows dark or get a funky-coloured manicure. But don’t let permanent body-related decisions be clouded by the wrath that is boredom
• do not share outrageous ideas that are also the result of boredom – that you only thought of when your brain was trying so hard not to be boring – that you will never fulfill. Otherwise you run the risk of being of being not only boring, but a boring person who doesn’t stick to their word. Do however, share such outrageous ideas if you are willing to act upon them. Nothing conquers boredom like a facilitator of fun! (To ease the pain of the realisation that you share impulsive exciting suggestions that never come to fruition – I can sympathise. On a long car journey just the other day I read a “white water rafting” sign and immediately posted on my old flat page that I would organise a white waster rafting expedition for my birthday. This suggestion may have been typed by the boredom that was at the time shooting through my fingers and suffocating any sense of rationality or logic within me – but I decided to not be boring and unnecessarily excite my 12 flat mates only for them to learn we are eating cake and watching Bridget Jones (again) on my birthday, and instead execute the whitewater rafting expedition when November 13 swings around. This sort of thing happens to the best of us.

And all this wisdom was derived from? A restless moment that was determined to cultivate itself in….(believe it or not) boredom, but which I zealously rejected and instead turned into a advice on how to never be bored. Phewf.

This of course has lead to thoughts about the circular motion of boredom, and the word “circular” always leads to thoughts about ongoing spherical fashion cycles. Which has got me thinking that a mere 1 year ago, I had to hold in laughter when passerby’s were sporting sneakers and jeans – schneans. But currently, back with an absolute vengeance, New Balances and jeans are my favourite look (for now anyway). The same goes for boat shoes, backpacks, flares, floral prints et al. The only exception (there is ALWAYS an exception) is high heeled sneakers, which (Kanye and Kim I hope you’re listening), will never, ever be in.

So put the awe in awesome and not the bore in boring and if you find yourself bored, put an awe in bawed – which is urban dictionary for what I’ve just achieved – creating awe for myself out of an almost boring situ – without the need for a moko or stretched ear lobe.

Lights out x